It’s no surprise to anyone that the transition from not being a parent to being a parent can be a shock to the system. Late nights, not getting enough sleep, planning around nap schedules, and thinking through new decisions are all portions of what make this transition difficult.

During the last couple of weeks I’ve been reflecting on one aspect of being a husband and a dad: owning up to things. Or as I’ve affectionately named: putting egg on your face.

I get grumpy, and in those moments I’m not as helpful to my wife or baby as I’d want to be. I almost put up a wall to keep out the discomfort of having to get up in the middle of the night, get water, or change a diaper. I can’t make an excuse for this. I simply to the metaphorical fridge, grab the carton of eggs, and crack a few on my face.

Sometimes I go back on what I have previously said. Flip-flopping between two different schools of thought or desires for the future. This one is particularly hard to own up to for me. People do naturally change their opinions, but when this happens, old ground is retread and it bogs down our brain capacity. Our chickens have stopped laying eggs, but that’s not a problem cause I already have it all over my face.

I don’t know everything, and I don’t always react to situations in a helpful way, but if I double down and try to weasel my way out of the blame or shift it to someone or something else, that makes everything worse. Instead, it’s much better (albeit harder) to crack an egg over my head.

I really do believe that husbands particularly should work to be comfortable with eggs on their faces. Marriage and parenting are hard, and if you’re sensitive to feeling embarrassed or looking stupid, you’re going to have a hard time.

This process has been much easier to grow through thanks to my amazing wife. She’s incredibly gracious with me as I pursue to grow in the areas that make our lives harder. When I inevitably have to live with egg on my face she graciously doesn’t get involved in the throwing of said egg.